i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
