He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
