i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
