A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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