i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
