real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
