I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
