Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize