I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize