Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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