I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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