i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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