it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
