i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize