Sponge bath it is.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
