dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
