she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We are two peas in an std pod
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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