I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize