he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
