just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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