I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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