he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
