if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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