i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
