we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
