OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize