i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
