i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
