i just google imaged poop.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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