Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
