She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
