Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
