I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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