Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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