you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
