My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
how drunk are you?
Several
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
