I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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