And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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