stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
