then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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