Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
