You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize