I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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