Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the day after is always just damage control
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
