On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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