This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
