Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
