Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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