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Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
