Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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