Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
smell my finger.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
