Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
