I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
