Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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