Tell her she can't have a vagina
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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