you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
