i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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