I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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