Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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