just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
