I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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