Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize