btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
