i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
