so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
