i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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