Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
