Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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