Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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