If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
