I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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