Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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