no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Apparently you make a good broom.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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