Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize