do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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